Martha Stewart Dew

Don't forget Martha Stewart Crafts™ Daily Deals All Week Long!

By Hypatia of California

Honest. I am a crafty person in the Martha Stewart sense of the word. But of course, nothing so bland would do for me. My rooms are draped in as much fabric as I can afford. The rooms are designed to draw us into comfort and ease with harmonious and subtle yet daring color combinations and many luxurious textures.

I sew my own clothes and household decor, for pete's sake!

Honest. Is there anyone else out there who is sick of these fake chefs and faux crafters?

Honest. Is there anyone else out there who can look at this picture of Martha Stewart in today's ad and reminisce about how Martha looked at 30? She then fairly glistened with an excess of estrogen.

Yet, a future in prison awaited her, just for doin' what all the guys were doin', for heck sake! When are the people who head these Wall Street investment firms who have robbed us of nearly $20 trillions of dollars gonna do some time?

Now, don't get me wrong. I purchased and used many of Martha Stewart's products during the nine years that I lived in a rural mountain town. My nearest metropolis was ah...Bakersfield, a difficult hour's drive down the mountain. A poorly stocked and operated K Mart was the only shopping outlet within 50 miles that sported a large inventory of household goods.

K Mart featured Martha Stewart "goods." I had two options: K Mart quality or Martha Stewart quality...ahem. Consistently, I have paid for more than I received in value for my money when I "upgraded" to Martha Stewart "goods."

I was lured into this rant by a marketing email from Michael's Crafts, with the sensible URL of which has a far superior beading section to its nearest competitor. If Martha Stewart was listening to her marketing people, she would be looking for her appropriately dewy successor to expand into the LUCRATIVE BEADING MARKET. I don't think that Rachel Ray is gonna make the cut!

NB: Of course, I am naming names here. Of course, I am not being paid for this. I just had to get it off my chest.